I've been away from this blog for quite some time and during that time I've struggled with my body image and my self-esteem trying to find a way to TRULY love the body that I'm IN while working to have the body I desire.
I've had to learn that THIN is not the goal, or rather it shouldn't be. The goal should be HEALTHY. Healthy is my word for 2013.
Eating right and exercising shouldn't be done so ultimately I can look "good" by some societal standard. It shouldn't be done so I can finally start liking myself because I look a certain way to others or even myself. Eating right and exercising should be done because I deserve it. I deserve to FEEL good. Eating right and exercising makes a body FEEL good. You feel strong, you feel motivated, you feel accomplished. You feel these things because you are nurturing your body. You feel these things because you are nourishing yourself.
It isn't easy. Taking care of yourself. Especially when you've spent a lifetime riddled with low-self esteem even when you weren't "plus size." You become trapped in bad habits and the belief that eating that piece of chocolate or that cinnamon bun will be the thing that makes you feel better in the moment. Thing is - it actually does - for that moment - because the sugar spikes your bloodsugar and you get surge of energy. But then, inevitably, the bottom drops out and you feel worse that you did to begin with.
There has to come a point where you stop with the yo-yo eating behavior and tell yourself - "hey, you deserve to feel better all the time. i'm going to start feeding you right and moving you around more because, ultimately you deserve better."
That's where I'm at right now. Don't get me wrong I don't get it right every day. Nope, days like today I fail. But the difference in me now as opposed to then is that I pick myself right back up and continue on starting with the next right choice.
Another thing I've noticed is that you don't have to dress dumpy just because your plus-sized. There is a plethora of choices for you out there. Every outfit I post on here, whether it's a collection I've put together on Polyvore or whether it's something I'm wearing, are outfits that can be put together in plus-sized fashion. There is nothing terribly hard about it. In fact two of the last three outfits I've posted from Polyvore were one's I've worn. (Now they weren't all the designer labels - remember you can always get the look for less).
So remember ladies. You can dress fabulously right now just as you are while you're working to obtain the fit and healthy body you desire.
Finally, let me remind you, that this striving to become HEALTHY isn't just something done with the mind or the will or the body. It's something done with the spirit. Give your heart over the Lord in this area of your life. Pray about it. Seek His strength and realize: "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you."
Love you ladies. Onward and upward.